(Like all historical ‘facts’, dubious. But I’m almost certain this is right)
“ugly as a tick on a dog’s belly”
“transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing”
“Real men, goes the unwritten rule of American punctuation, don’t use semi-colons”
“girly,” “odious,” and “the most pusillanimous, sissified, utterly useless mark of punctuation ever invented.”
“like an ink smudge on a new white carpet.”
“we’ve never missed yet with the girls we meet”… really? Classic stuff though. check out Mike Love’s primate dance on 0:55, and his mime for ‘girls’ on 1:10. It’s an hourglass. xxx
via cynical c
the guardian’s Q&A on Saturday was with Slavoj Zizek, the philosopher who you may remember from such channel 4 programmes as The Pervert’s Guide To Cinema.
He gave some of the most morbid and depressing answers I’ve ever seen. it was great stuff e.g.
What is your earliest memory?
My mother naked. Disgusting.
_____________
What was your most embarrassing moment?
Standing naked in front of a woman before making love
_____________
What makes you depressed?
Seeing stupid people happy
_____________
What do you owe your parents?
Nothing, I hope. I didn’t spend a minute bemoaning their death
______________
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To my sons, for not being a good enough father.
_______________
What does love feel like?
Like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.
________________
What is your favourite smell?
Nature in decay, like rotten trees
__________________
What is the worst job you’ve done?
Teaching. I hate students, they are (as all people) mostly stupid and boring
___________________
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
My birth. I agree with Sophocles: the greatest luck is not to have been born - but, as the joke goes on, very few people succeed in it
____________________
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
That life is a stupid, meaningless thing that has nothing to teach you
…aaaaand man crush.
Here’s a quote from the guy I’m doing my dissertation about. It comes from a ‘science’ book called The Naked Man which he wrote… this year.
“Explorers, inventors, architects, builders, warriors and foresters have almost always been males and they have changed the surface of the Earth to a degree that makes all other species seem insignificant… greatness seems to demand the sort of stubborn perversity that is a predominantly male quality. It has often been argued that this has been a matter of opportunity - that women were not allowed to develop their true potential. But in practical terms, this simply means that women were not great enough to demand that their greatness be recognised.”
OKAY DESMOND.
The second was Albert II. They were both rhesus monkeys.
Best Lowbrow Comicbook-Based Bad Pun Animated GIF of the Day
“Waterboarding is a form of torture that consists of immobilizing a person on their back with the head inclined downward and pouring water over the face and into the breathing passages.Through forced suffocation and inhalation of water, the subject experiences the process of drowning and is made to believe that death is imminent … CIA officers who have subjected themselves to the technique have lasted an average of 14 seconds before caving in”
Here’s a picture of Christopher taken some time before he was waterboarded, when he still thought he was the coolest man in the world
e.g. [sic]
“I was wathcing the world series on Fox with my family which includes my son who is about to turn 5. Fox ran a promo for what I believe is there show the Family Guy, the promo shows a cartoon baby shooting his mother on a cruise ship, who then falls overboard and presumamly drowns, while he trips, crys and asks for his mommy, and then realizes he had just killed her. The remote was not near me so I could not change it in time and my son asked why was he crying and why was his mommy in the water. This is utterly ridiculous and I am ticked off. How Fox alonws that promo to run during the world series early in the evening is beyond me. The content is innapropriate for small children and frankly it is offensive to me. I tuned into watch some baseball and some simple Chevy commercials.”
